Inviting Man into His Strength

Do weak women yield stronger men?

Daughter's of Eve, probably all of you, married and single have encountered the awkwardness of an insecure man. This man may have resorted to methods of escape, disengagement, or the secrets of a hidden life. This man may monopolize, dominate, and control with rigidity. This man may live in the swamps of ambivalence. This man may wear a mask of arrogance or of fear and timidity. No matter the design of the external mask, behind each dwells a man in pain, desperate longing to be as God intended, a hero with a greater purpose.

How does woman respond to such encounters with man? Far too often insecure women react to insecure men with: "I am woman hear me roar...I will shout to prove my voice!" Other times it is the "wall flower response": "I cannot step it up, move forward, take intitiative, engage deeper, for the sake of man." (huh?) Are either of these responses woman's strength (or are these actually woman's excuses to shield her from her own fears)? Do either of these invite man into his strength? Is this the alliance God intended? Must woman fight against man to somehow make him step it up? Must woman demean and baby man so that he might feel good about himself with an artificial sense of security? Perhaps there is another response. Perhaps a response rooted in a deep love and a secure identity. A strength inviting a strength.

A few thoughts on how woman might invite man into his strength:

1. Be woman, and not man. Allow man to be man, and that is to be different! Far too often woman's efforts to be strong are no more than insecure pursuits to be like men. This does not invite man into his strength, nor is this the strength God intended for woman. Woman's expression of God's heart and God's image is unique to her and essential for the heart of man. Her beauty, a "quiet and gentle spirit" (IPeter 3:4) does not mean she is passive, docile, ignorant and voiceless. Her strength, is a strength originated with her Lord, and planted within. Her voice is purposed in the whispers of her Lord. Her strength is a soul that is well and at rest. Woman's strength is a hope, peace, and gentleness rooted in intimacy with her first love, the Creator, her Savior.

2. Be Safe. Do you really want men to open up and be transparent? Wives, do you really want your husbands to be open with you about their fears or their struggles? Do you ask, and then punish emotionally if the answer scares you? Be safe. Be incarnate. Choose to be a conduit of grace. How? Admit your inclination to judge, fix, deny, dismiss. Admit your tendencies to explode, withdraw, manipulate, or control. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. Listen deeply to the truest questions, those lurking behind the white noise. Do not allow truth to escape your lips without the comrad of grace.

3. Remember "the log and the speck" principle. Before we take notice of the speck in our Brother's eye, take notice of the log in your's. We all have blind spots. Humbly cooperate with the Spirit to dissolve the logs in your eye, and remember anyone with a log in there eye is probably not going to see everything clearly. This humility invites man into his strength, a shared strength of Jesus' sufficient grace. Such humility drains woman's drive to be the "dripping faucet," picking, nagging, and judging.

4. Put the ledger and score card away! No one wins when we keep score of wrongs. Devote yourself to not be a record keeper, but a warrior for the quest of love. Keep short accounts with one another, allow love to cover the non essentials (which are more than we usually realize), and if you are unsure, check-in and ask.

More to come...What are your thoughts???