As a little girl I often prayed a prayer that went something like this: "God, please make people see me different from who I am." I prayed this prayer because I wanted to be seen and known by people, but I did not want people to see and know me as I knew myself. I saw myself as "bad." I believed I was defined by what others had spoken over me, or by their silence. I believed that the lack of affection and blessing I experienced was because of my lack of, or my too much-ness, or my not enough. I interpreted myself to be unwanted, disposable, defective, and at fault for the actions of others. My self-perception fueled my self-hate. God did answer my prayer, but not as I anticipated. He did give eyes to others to see me differently. Eyes to see me not as I saw, but to see me as He sees me.
How do you see yourself Beloved? Is your view true? When did you first learn these things?
We all carry messages and voices of the past within our minds and our hearts. No matter how long they have been around; no matter how often we have rehearsed them; and no matter how much they have been reinforced by others or circumstances ... many of these messages are lies. They speak about you ... but they are not true. Many of those voices are not the voice of our Father.
Who does your Father say you are? Not your earthly father... no, your Father who sees your heart and truly knows you.
Dear Daughter of Eve,
I have ransomed you because you are a treasure. I paid the the demand in full and beyond. I have made the way to unleash you from all that imprisoned you. All that you once owed ... I paid. I paid for the past, the present, and that which is to come. I stepped in and served your sentence for all that brought you guilt, so that you might be free. All that has been credited to me is yours. No longer are you a slave, desperate to pay your debt. No longer are you a slave defined by your debt. You are mine. You are my daughter and I, your Daddy. Your soul is clothed in the lace of a bride, pure and clean. Your body is like a temple, the place I have swept clean so that I might live. Within you I live and I continue my masterpiece upon your soul, heart, and mind not because of you, but because I am faithful. And because of who I am, you are full of power and strength. Yes, even in your weakness, I am there, ready to reveal a beauty beyond imagination ... my glory in you and through you.
Beloved, I am your Father who sees you, and knows your true name. I am your Father who formed you and delights in you. I formed you so that I might love on you and that you might know me more and more. I knit you together with dreams in mind, puposes of beauty and life. I do not change my mind when you are weak, trip, fall, or doubt. No, I am faithful, even if you are not. I wait for you. I pursue you. I knock again and again. I will not hide from you. I will not shame and condemn you. I long for you to be free and to be with me as I am with you.
I first loved you and I will love you first again and again.
Your Father.
Really enjoyed this one!
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