No suffering is invited, at least not on the front end. Yet, like an intruder, she comes in. She pulls out rugs right from underneath us. She punches us in the stomach, taking our breath away for a moment that seems like eternity. She trips us up, shattering our hopes and dreams.
"Suffering" wreaks havoc in us and around us. Her taunts bait old lies of blame, shame, and accusation. She brings with her ingredients for hopelessness, bitterness, despair, disillusionment ... "Suffering," she brings with her a string of questions, yet no answers.
It seems that you, "Suffering," are here to stay. I cannot snuff you out. I cannot control enough, avoid enough, hide enough, bargain enough to keep you away...thus, "Suffering," come closer, and meet "Redemption."
"Redemption"enters the scene unsuspectedly, in the most ordinary ways (God in the womb of an impoverished simple girl). She quietly whispers invitations to deeper faith. "Redemption"does not respond to my demands for explanation or alleviation of "Suffering." She does not obey my calendar and schedule, but follows perfect timing.
"Redemption" mysteriously dances to the beat of a greater song. She curiously threads simple and ordinary stories, those exploited by "Suffering," into a greater story...the greatest story. "Redemption" paces herself to the rhythm of the wind and the breath of the Spirit. She intricately weaves the frayed, stained, worn out pieces of our lives, into a story that brings new meaning... Hope.
I don't know when "Redemption" will overpower "Suffering." I don't know when "Redemption" will shout "Victory!"... or perhaps I don't know when I will hear. I only know "Redemption" will win in the end.
"Suffering," you are here, but please beware, your ash will one day be beauty.
"Redemption"... Redeemer, Jesus, have your way with me.
Showing posts with label suffering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suffering. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Wilderness (pt. 1)
I love the beauties of nature: rainbows, fields of flowers, sunrises and sunsets, waterfalls, fresh green grass…but I just don’t like the wilderness.
Three months into marriage, my husband and I became “House Parents at a wilderness work camp in the deep woods of Ontario, Canada. Yes, the wilderness…with all of its beauty and wonder… and with all of its mosquitoes, black flies, black bears, and that which I am most afraid of…the field mouse. Augh. The wilderness.
When it comes to the wilderness…times of trials, darkness, loneliness, struggle, temptations…well, I don’t really like this kind of wilderness either. But, probably like most of you, I have had wilderness times throughout my life.
Several years ago I entered one of these wilderness times. I had been a follower of Jesus for a long time. I had trusted Jesus when I was six years old, however, many parts of my childhood, had never been talked about. My sense of identity was rooted mostly in my childhood relationships and their messages established early in life. A fear of abandonment taunted me even as a woman. The shame poisoned my sense of identity, with lingering messages such as: “you are too much” or “you will never be enough.” My view of God was severely tainted. Instead of a loving and gentle Father, I believed God to be harsh, distant, and demanding, and I the daughter who was never enough. Bitterness, even hatred loomed deep inside me, and seemed justifiable, yet I covered it with mask upon mask, and hoped that eventually I would be more than “saved from hell,” but also free. I did more. I served more. I pushed myself to be all that I could be as a wife, a mother, and a Christ follower. Then I entered the wilderness.
What has helped you press into your Father and root into His love during "Wilderness" times? Or perhaps you are seeking some encouragement because you find yourself in one of those times now. If so, the next couple of blogs I hope to share some of the things that helped me!
Looking forward to it! Blessings dear ones!
Three months into marriage, my husband and I became “House Parents at a wilderness work camp in the deep woods of Ontario, Canada. Yes, the wilderness…with all of its beauty and wonder… and with all of its mosquitoes, black flies, black bears, and that which I am most afraid of…the field mouse. Augh. The wilderness.
When it comes to the wilderness…times of trials, darkness, loneliness, struggle, temptations…well, I don’t really like this kind of wilderness either. But, probably like most of you, I have had wilderness times throughout my life.
Several years ago I entered one of these wilderness times. I had been a follower of Jesus for a long time. I had trusted Jesus when I was six years old, however, many parts of my childhood, had never been talked about. My sense of identity was rooted mostly in my childhood relationships and their messages established early in life. A fear of abandonment taunted me even as a woman. The shame poisoned my sense of identity, with lingering messages such as: “you are too much” or “you will never be enough.” My view of God was severely tainted. Instead of a loving and gentle Father, I believed God to be harsh, distant, and demanding, and I the daughter who was never enough. Bitterness, even hatred loomed deep inside me, and seemed justifiable, yet I covered it with mask upon mask, and hoped that eventually I would be more than “saved from hell,” but also free. I did more. I served more. I pushed myself to be all that I could be as a wife, a mother, and a Christ follower. Then I entered the wilderness.
What has helped you press into your Father and root into His love during "Wilderness" times? Or perhaps you are seeking some encouragement because you find yourself in one of those times now. If so, the next couple of blogs I hope to share some of the things that helped me!
Looking forward to it! Blessings dear ones!
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