He was a religious man. He could debate with the best of them! I guess today you would compare him to one who had been raised in a good ol fashioned church going family. He had been fed well because he was over flowing with knowledge on religious matters. He was the kind of guy that others might find intimidating. You know what I mean...the kind that just seems to have it together, and always gets the job done ... and done shiny and well. The kind of guy you kind of hate, but secretly (not that this author can relate) sometimes wish could be you. Anyhow this man seemed really good at noticing the faults and struggles of others. Every time someone would trip ... he was the first to see! Nothing got past him! He would notice, judge and shame. Another man, who was quite ordinary appearing, yet quite extrodinary, in fact Divine in human form, took opportunity to shed a little bit of light on this man's quandry, a simple illustration: a 2x4 (plank) and dust. He told this man that before he could dig out the little speck of dust out of the eye of another, it was critical to first get the plank out of his own. Now what in the world was the teacher talking about, and can we relate?
One season, a season of healing, this story hit me fresh and new. (That's just how the Spirit works...encounter Him with His word...He's unstoppable!) I inventoried all of the ways I had been loved poorly by others. I was noticing all of the ways that I had been disregarded and wounded. All of these events seemed so potent and defining to me. I rehearsed alot of these events. I rehearsed their messages about me, others, and God. The grief journey (much needed) ushered me into the journey of personal "plank" discovery. The "wounds" of my life seemed to be perfect reason to blame and rationalize. Yes, I said it, the collection of specks (wounding actions of others) seemed great enough to justify my plank, and from my perspective my plank was the speck! I was quite convinced that my plank would not even exist if it weren't for everyone else acting according to their specks! The truth cut past my veneer of victimhood, and deeply penetrated into my soul, me--a woman ... my plank existed, and it ran deep. It impaired my vision on how I saw life, people, myself, and God, and I lived as though I had no choice about my plank! The truth is, even if we blame our planks on others...they are still there, and honestly even if we would have been loved perfectly... we still would have some kind of plank (remember our distant mother Eve? She was loved perfectly!)
Can you imagine a plank in your eye...really? How would you do anything? Sisters, how we need to stop the charades and admit our planks. How we need to be free from the secret justifications (aka blame) for our planks. Sisters how we need our planks removed so that we might see ... with truth. A dear person wisely suggested to me on this matter, "Perhaps it is not merely you who takes out the plank ... perhaps your plank is being dissolved, little by little, by the work of Jesus in you." Wait! We have planks, we need them removed, but we cannot remove them on our own?? What hope we have ... there is one who is more devoted to removing our planks!
Sisters, remember your first love ... He who has seen and known your plank all along, and loved you even still. Remember your first love who allured you to repentance with kindness, instead of shame and condemnation. Remember your first love, He who awakened you from your deadened state of numbing and/or performing. Remember your first love, He who initiated, called, and waited, and waited for you. Yes, your first love. Here's to a day to noticing our first love's work in us. Let us remember, that as life's circumstances arrive ... none is just by chance ... but each and everyone used in the hand's of our first love to slowly dissolve the plank and restore the vision intended.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Baggage... Bondage or Blessing?
We all have it...baggage. No, not the luggage, purses, or bags that we so often pack full of essentials. No, baggage ... the kind that we often forget that we are carrying. This baggage is full of messages that we replay over and over again about ourselves, God, and others. This baggage is full of the names that we have been called, names of humiliation and regret. This baggage is full of hidden memories, details seared onto our hearts, minds, and souls. This baggage is full of secret questions, doubts, and fears. What do you do with your baggage? I spent many years convincing myself that my baggage had never really impacted me, if it had really existed as baggage at all! All the while, I carried not one bag... but a whole luggage set everywhere I went! Much of my energy was drained by my efforts to lug my baggage close to my side, contain it, hide it, polish it, and pretend it away. Sometimes I would trip on my baggage, and sometimes my baggage tripped up others. Baggage. The worse thing about baggage is when it blocks your view. With my baggage, I just could not see clearly. No matter how hard I would look, my view was impaired. Baggage. When it comes to baggage, do we have a choice? Really? Don't be fooled ... we all have it, but what are you going to do with it? Is it possible that our baggage, the things that once brought bruising and bondage, can actually bring blessing? Yes! Is it possible that interwoven with the grief there is deep hope? Yes! Is it possible that out of the places of desolation and isolation one can experience the love of the great Consolation? Yes! For my dear sisters who hide her baggage deeply away, carrying a burden not meant to be carried alone, my heart is in prayer for you today. The shame of such baggage only brings a bondage that you were never intended to bear. Praying that today, you might encounter the grace needed to share your baggage with another, that slowly piece by piece each might be changed from bondage to blessing. That in each baggage you might personally know and experience your true love who was with you when you first picked up the bag, and before.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
"What is REAL?"
THE VELVETEEN RABBIT by Margery Williams
“The Mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon everyone else; they were full of modern ideas and pretended they were real. The model boat, who had lived through two seasons and lost most of his paint, caught the tone from them and never missed an opportunity to refer to his rigging in technical terms… Even Timothy, the jointed wooden lion, who was made by the disabled soldiers and should have broader views, put on airs and pretended he was connected with Government. Between them all the poor little rabbit was made to feel very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him was the Skin Horse.”
“What is REAL?” asked the rabbit one day … “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When (Someone) loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with (you), but REALLY loves you, then you become real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are “Real” you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are REAL you can’t be ugly, except to those people who don’t understand.” (pages 15-17)
“The Mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon everyone else; they were full of modern ideas and pretended they were real. The model boat, who had lived through two seasons and lost most of his paint, caught the tone from them and never missed an opportunity to refer to his rigging in technical terms… Even Timothy, the jointed wooden lion, who was made by the disabled soldiers and should have broader views, put on airs and pretended he was connected with Government. Between them all the poor little rabbit was made to feel very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him was the Skin Horse.”
“What is REAL?” asked the rabbit one day … “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When (Someone) loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with (you), but REALLY loves you, then you become real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are “Real” you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are REAL you can’t be ugly, except to those people who don’t understand.” (pages 15-17)
Monday, January 31, 2011
Inviting Man into His Strength
con't WOMAN, INVITING MAN INTO HIS STRENGTH
5. Leave the game playing to "Hasbro". Value men enough to speak clearly, directly, and honestly. If you aren't sure, than simply say that. Resist the temptation to read between the lines, search for codes, or speak in some sort of coded language hoping others will catch onto what you really mean, think or feel.
6. Unplug and plug-into the source. There is a temptation for woman to expect man to meet her deepest longings. Some expect man to name her, form her identity, deem her value, secure her present/future, and fix her past. No man can love you like that. Plug in to the Lover who can.
7. Keep him On the radar, but not the North Star! Men are not intended to set the course of your compass.
Fix your eyes upon your true Love, Jesus. Any and every man will fail you, just as you and every woman will fail man.
8. Know your stuff! Develop your beliefs and convictions. Know your own issues. Know your dreams, passions. Know what nourishes your soul and what doesn't. Know your weaknesses, your strengths, and your limits. Know your likes, dislikes, hopes, fears ...
9. Admit it... you aren't Superwoman. Don't deny your needs. Having needs does not make you "needy."Allow yourself to be known to Brothers that are safe, and receive their love.
10. Bounce back quickly.
11. Leave the thin skin to the reptiles.
12. Devote yourself to peace making (vs. peace keeping). Don't avoid conflict as a means of self preservation or fear of rejection. This is not peace making, but peace keeping. Making peace is a choice to live with integrity, to be true to personal convictions, and to engage differences, negotiations, and conflicts with peace as the end goal.
11. EXPECTATIONS + EXPERIENCE = SATISFACTION. Don't expect your strength to change man, but expect to be changed more and more by the power of your first love.
Daughter's of Eve, what are your thoughts? How do we as women invite men into their strength?
5. Leave the game playing to "Hasbro". Value men enough to speak clearly, directly, and honestly. If you aren't sure, than simply say that. Resist the temptation to read between the lines, search for codes, or speak in some sort of coded language hoping others will catch onto what you really mean, think or feel.
6. Unplug and plug-into the source. There is a temptation for woman to expect man to meet her deepest longings. Some expect man to name her, form her identity, deem her value, secure her present/future, and fix her past. No man can love you like that. Plug in to the Lover who can.
7. Keep him On the radar, but not the North Star! Men are not intended to set the course of your compass.
Fix your eyes upon your true Love, Jesus. Any and every man will fail you, just as you and every woman will fail man.
8. Know your stuff! Develop your beliefs and convictions. Know your own issues. Know your dreams, passions. Know what nourishes your soul and what doesn't. Know your weaknesses, your strengths, and your limits. Know your likes, dislikes, hopes, fears ...
9. Admit it... you aren't Superwoman. Don't deny your needs. Having needs does not make you "needy."Allow yourself to be known to Brothers that are safe, and receive their love.
10. Bounce back quickly.
11. Leave the thin skin to the reptiles.
12. Devote yourself to peace making (vs. peace keeping). Don't avoid conflict as a means of self preservation or fear of rejection. This is not peace making, but peace keeping. Making peace is a choice to live with integrity, to be true to personal convictions, and to engage differences, negotiations, and conflicts with peace as the end goal.
11. EXPECTATIONS + EXPERIENCE = SATISFACTION. Don't expect your strength to change man, but expect to be changed more and more by the power of your first love.
Daughter's of Eve, what are your thoughts? How do we as women invite men into their strength?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Inviting Man into His Strength
Do weak women yield stronger men?
Daughter's of Eve, probably all of you, married and single have encountered the awkwardness of an insecure man. This man may have resorted to methods of escape, disengagement, or the secrets of a hidden life. This man may monopolize, dominate, and control with rigidity. This man may live in the swamps of ambivalence. This man may wear a mask of arrogance or of fear and timidity. No matter the design of the external mask, behind each dwells a man in pain, desperate longing to be as God intended, a hero with a greater purpose.
How does woman respond to such encounters with man? Far too often insecure women react to insecure men with: "I am woman hear me roar...I will shout to prove my voice!" Other times it is the "wall flower response": "I cannot step it up, move forward, take intitiative, engage deeper, for the sake of man." (huh?) Are either of these responses woman's strength (or are these actually woman's excuses to shield her from her own fears)? Do either of these invite man into his strength? Is this the alliance God intended? Must woman fight against man to somehow make him step it up? Must woman demean and baby man so that he might feel good about himself with an artificial sense of security? Perhaps there is another response. Perhaps a response rooted in a deep love and a secure identity. A strength inviting a strength.
A few thoughts on how woman might invite man into his strength:
More to come...What are your thoughts???
Daughter's of Eve, probably all of you, married and single have encountered the awkwardness of an insecure man. This man may have resorted to methods of escape, disengagement, or the secrets of a hidden life. This man may monopolize, dominate, and control with rigidity. This man may live in the swamps of ambivalence. This man may wear a mask of arrogance or of fear and timidity. No matter the design of the external mask, behind each dwells a man in pain, desperate longing to be as God intended, a hero with a greater purpose.
How does woman respond to such encounters with man? Far too often insecure women react to insecure men with: "I am woman hear me roar...I will shout to prove my voice!" Other times it is the "wall flower response": "I cannot step it up, move forward, take intitiative, engage deeper, for the sake of man." (huh?) Are either of these responses woman's strength (or are these actually woman's excuses to shield her from her own fears)? Do either of these invite man into his strength? Is this the alliance God intended? Must woman fight against man to somehow make him step it up? Must woman demean and baby man so that he might feel good about himself with an artificial sense of security? Perhaps there is another response. Perhaps a response rooted in a deep love and a secure identity. A strength inviting a strength.
A few thoughts on how woman might invite man into his strength:
1. Be woman, and not man. Allow man to be man, and that is to be different! Far too often woman's efforts to be strong are no more than insecure pursuits to be like men. This does not invite man into his strength, nor is this the strength God intended for woman. Woman's expression of God's heart and God's image is unique to her and essential for the heart of man. Her beauty, a "quiet and gentle spirit" (IPeter 3:4) does not mean she is passive, docile, ignorant and voiceless. Her strength, is a strength originated with her Lord, and planted within. Her voice is purposed in the whispers of her Lord. Her strength is a soul that is well and at rest. Woman's strength is a hope, peace, and gentleness rooted in intimacy with her first love, the Creator, her Savior.
2. Be Safe. Do you really want men to open up and be transparent? Wives, do you really want your husbands to be open with you about their fears or their struggles? Do you ask, and then punish emotionally if the answer scares you? Be safe. Be incarnate. Choose to be a conduit of grace. How? Admit your inclination to judge, fix, deny, dismiss. Admit your tendencies to explode, withdraw, manipulate, or control. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. Listen deeply to the truest questions, those lurking behind the white noise. Do not allow truth to escape your lips without the comrad of grace.
3. Remember "the log and the speck" principle. Before we take notice of the speck in our Brother's eye, take notice of the log in your's. We all have blind spots. Humbly cooperate with the Spirit to dissolve the logs in your eye, and remember anyone with a log in there eye is probably not going to see everything clearly. This humility invites man into his strength, a shared strength of Jesus' sufficient grace. Such humility drains woman's drive to be the "dripping faucet," picking, nagging, and judging.
More to come...What are your thoughts???
Monday, January 24, 2011
True Beauty
As a little girl I loved to escape to the fields of flowers blanketing the hills of my Grandmother's backyard. These flowers speckled the hills of bright colors: yellow buttercups, daisies, and purple clovers. At times I would find myself lost in their beauty. I would relish in the careful picking of each stem making sure each to be just the right length to fit within the carefully formed bouquet. When I close my eyes, I find myself right there in the fields. I imagine the sun's warmth kissing my skin, and the sweet music of nature all around me. On such days my Grandmother would exchange my bouquets for a tall glass of iced tea and admiringly place the flowers in a tall glass up against her front window for all to see, to delight in their beauty.
Perhaps every woman possesses a deep desire to bring a bit of beauty and life to her part of the world. Perhaps this is merely one of the ways in which woman uniquely bears the image of her Creator. I don't mean to speak of the kind of beauty we see plastered on every news stand magazine. I am not referring to the airbrushed and lypo suctioned kind of beauty. No, it is the greater beauty, the beauty our souls long for. The beauty that the senses of our souls delight in.
Single, married, divorced, widowed, young or old, every woman longs to birth and to give life. We long to bring life to places of desolation and hope to despair. We long to leave more than an impression of beauty upon the roads that we travel. We long to leave marks of beauty that are long lasting, rooted deeply into the lives of those we love.
What is this beauty? Woman's beauty is seen in her voice for the voiceless and care of the broken. Her beauty is a unique blend of justice and mercy. Her beauty blesses when others curse. Her beauty deems "dignity" when others deem "disposable". Her beauty is seen in her endurance through times of disappointment, and her faith at times of betrayal. Her beauty is her extension of grace , her plight of hope, and her offering of forgiveness. Her beauty is her authenticity when masking and posing would be easier. Her beauty stirs the hearts and souls of those around her to long for more and to be more.
Dearest Daughters of Eve, this is the beauty that we long for, and are intended for.
Perhaps every woman possesses a deep desire to bring a bit of beauty and life to her part of the world. Perhaps this is merely one of the ways in which woman uniquely bears the image of her Creator. I don't mean to speak of the kind of beauty we see plastered on every news stand magazine. I am not referring to the airbrushed and lypo suctioned kind of beauty. No, it is the greater beauty, the beauty our souls long for. The beauty that the senses of our souls delight in.
Single, married, divorced, widowed, young or old, every woman longs to birth and to give life. We long to bring life to places of desolation and hope to despair. We long to leave more than an impression of beauty upon the roads that we travel. We long to leave marks of beauty that are long lasting, rooted deeply into the lives of those we love.
What is this beauty? Woman's beauty is seen in her voice for the voiceless and care of the broken. Her beauty is a unique blend of justice and mercy. Her beauty blesses when others curse. Her beauty deems "dignity" when others deem "disposable". Her beauty is seen in her endurance through times of disappointment, and her faith at times of betrayal. Her beauty is her extension of grace , her plight of hope, and her offering of forgiveness. Her beauty is her authenticity when masking and posing would be easier. Her beauty stirs the hearts and souls of those around her to long for more and to be more.
Dearest Daughters of Eve, this is the beauty that we long for, and are intended for.
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