con't WOMAN, INVITING MAN INTO HIS STRENGTH
5. Leave the game playing to "Hasbro". Value men enough to speak clearly, directly, and honestly. If you aren't sure, than simply say that. Resist the temptation to read between the lines, search for codes, or speak in some sort of coded language hoping others will catch onto what you really mean, think or feel.
6. Unplug and plug-into the source. There is a temptation for woman to expect man to meet her deepest longings. Some expect man to name her, form her identity, deem her value, secure her present/future, and fix her past. No man can love you like that. Plug in to the Lover who can.
7. Keep him On the radar, but not the North Star! Men are not intended to set the course of your compass.
Fix your eyes upon your true Love, Jesus. Any and every man will fail you, just as you and every woman will fail man.
8. Know your stuff! Develop your beliefs and convictions. Know your own issues. Know your dreams, passions. Know what nourishes your soul and what doesn't. Know your weaknesses, your strengths, and your limits. Know your likes, dislikes, hopes, fears ...
9. Admit it... you aren't Superwoman. Don't deny your needs. Having needs does not make you "needy."Allow yourself to be known to Brothers that are safe, and receive their love.
10. Bounce back quickly.
11. Leave the thin skin to the reptiles.
12. Devote yourself to peace making (vs. peace keeping). Don't avoid conflict as a means of self preservation or fear of rejection. This is not peace making, but peace keeping. Making peace is a choice to live with integrity, to be true to personal convictions, and to engage differences, negotiations, and conflicts with peace as the end goal.
11. EXPECTATIONS + EXPERIENCE = SATISFACTION. Don't expect your strength to change man, but expect to be changed more and more by the power of your first love.
Daughter's of Eve, what are your thoughts? How do we as women invite men into their strength?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Inviting Man into His Strength
Do weak women yield stronger men?
Daughter's of Eve, probably all of you, married and single have encountered the awkwardness of an insecure man. This man may have resorted to methods of escape, disengagement, or the secrets of a hidden life. This man may monopolize, dominate, and control with rigidity. This man may live in the swamps of ambivalence. This man may wear a mask of arrogance or of fear and timidity. No matter the design of the external mask, behind each dwells a man in pain, desperate longing to be as God intended, a hero with a greater purpose.
How does woman respond to such encounters with man? Far too often insecure women react to insecure men with: "I am woman hear me roar...I will shout to prove my voice!" Other times it is the "wall flower response": "I cannot step it up, move forward, take intitiative, engage deeper, for the sake of man." (huh?) Are either of these responses woman's strength (or are these actually woman's excuses to shield her from her own fears)? Do either of these invite man into his strength? Is this the alliance God intended? Must woman fight against man to somehow make him step it up? Must woman demean and baby man so that he might feel good about himself with an artificial sense of security? Perhaps there is another response. Perhaps a response rooted in a deep love and a secure identity. A strength inviting a strength.
A few thoughts on how woman might invite man into his strength:
More to come...What are your thoughts???
Daughter's of Eve, probably all of you, married and single have encountered the awkwardness of an insecure man. This man may have resorted to methods of escape, disengagement, or the secrets of a hidden life. This man may monopolize, dominate, and control with rigidity. This man may live in the swamps of ambivalence. This man may wear a mask of arrogance or of fear and timidity. No matter the design of the external mask, behind each dwells a man in pain, desperate longing to be as God intended, a hero with a greater purpose.
How does woman respond to such encounters with man? Far too often insecure women react to insecure men with: "I am woman hear me roar...I will shout to prove my voice!" Other times it is the "wall flower response": "I cannot step it up, move forward, take intitiative, engage deeper, for the sake of man." (huh?) Are either of these responses woman's strength (or are these actually woman's excuses to shield her from her own fears)? Do either of these invite man into his strength? Is this the alliance God intended? Must woman fight against man to somehow make him step it up? Must woman demean and baby man so that he might feel good about himself with an artificial sense of security? Perhaps there is another response. Perhaps a response rooted in a deep love and a secure identity. A strength inviting a strength.
A few thoughts on how woman might invite man into his strength:
1. Be woman, and not man. Allow man to be man, and that is to be different! Far too often woman's efforts to be strong are no more than insecure pursuits to be like men. This does not invite man into his strength, nor is this the strength God intended for woman. Woman's expression of God's heart and God's image is unique to her and essential for the heart of man. Her beauty, a "quiet and gentle spirit" (IPeter 3:4) does not mean she is passive, docile, ignorant and voiceless. Her strength, is a strength originated with her Lord, and planted within. Her voice is purposed in the whispers of her Lord. Her strength is a soul that is well and at rest. Woman's strength is a hope, peace, and gentleness rooted in intimacy with her first love, the Creator, her Savior.
2. Be Safe. Do you really want men to open up and be transparent? Wives, do you really want your husbands to be open with you about their fears or their struggles? Do you ask, and then punish emotionally if the answer scares you? Be safe. Be incarnate. Choose to be a conduit of grace. How? Admit your inclination to judge, fix, deny, dismiss. Admit your tendencies to explode, withdraw, manipulate, or control. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. Listen deeply to the truest questions, those lurking behind the white noise. Do not allow truth to escape your lips without the comrad of grace.
3. Remember "the log and the speck" principle. Before we take notice of the speck in our Brother's eye, take notice of the log in your's. We all have blind spots. Humbly cooperate with the Spirit to dissolve the logs in your eye, and remember anyone with a log in there eye is probably not going to see everything clearly. This humility invites man into his strength, a shared strength of Jesus' sufficient grace. Such humility drains woman's drive to be the "dripping faucet," picking, nagging, and judging.
More to come...What are your thoughts???
Monday, January 24, 2011
True Beauty
As a little girl I loved to escape to the fields of flowers blanketing the hills of my Grandmother's backyard. These flowers speckled the hills of bright colors: yellow buttercups, daisies, and purple clovers. At times I would find myself lost in their beauty. I would relish in the careful picking of each stem making sure each to be just the right length to fit within the carefully formed bouquet. When I close my eyes, I find myself right there in the fields. I imagine the sun's warmth kissing my skin, and the sweet music of nature all around me. On such days my Grandmother would exchange my bouquets for a tall glass of iced tea and admiringly place the flowers in a tall glass up against her front window for all to see, to delight in their beauty.
Perhaps every woman possesses a deep desire to bring a bit of beauty and life to her part of the world. Perhaps this is merely one of the ways in which woman uniquely bears the image of her Creator. I don't mean to speak of the kind of beauty we see plastered on every news stand magazine. I am not referring to the airbrushed and lypo suctioned kind of beauty. No, it is the greater beauty, the beauty our souls long for. The beauty that the senses of our souls delight in.
Single, married, divorced, widowed, young or old, every woman longs to birth and to give life. We long to bring life to places of desolation and hope to despair. We long to leave more than an impression of beauty upon the roads that we travel. We long to leave marks of beauty that are long lasting, rooted deeply into the lives of those we love.
What is this beauty? Woman's beauty is seen in her voice for the voiceless and care of the broken. Her beauty is a unique blend of justice and mercy. Her beauty blesses when others curse. Her beauty deems "dignity" when others deem "disposable". Her beauty is seen in her endurance through times of disappointment, and her faith at times of betrayal. Her beauty is her extension of grace , her plight of hope, and her offering of forgiveness. Her beauty is her authenticity when masking and posing would be easier. Her beauty stirs the hearts and souls of those around her to long for more and to be more.
Dearest Daughters of Eve, this is the beauty that we long for, and are intended for.
Perhaps every woman possesses a deep desire to bring a bit of beauty and life to her part of the world. Perhaps this is merely one of the ways in which woman uniquely bears the image of her Creator. I don't mean to speak of the kind of beauty we see plastered on every news stand magazine. I am not referring to the airbrushed and lypo suctioned kind of beauty. No, it is the greater beauty, the beauty our souls long for. The beauty that the senses of our souls delight in.
Single, married, divorced, widowed, young or old, every woman longs to birth and to give life. We long to bring life to places of desolation and hope to despair. We long to leave more than an impression of beauty upon the roads that we travel. We long to leave marks of beauty that are long lasting, rooted deeply into the lives of those we love.
What is this beauty? Woman's beauty is seen in her voice for the voiceless and care of the broken. Her beauty is a unique blend of justice and mercy. Her beauty blesses when others curse. Her beauty deems "dignity" when others deem "disposable". Her beauty is seen in her endurance through times of disappointment, and her faith at times of betrayal. Her beauty is her extension of grace , her plight of hope, and her offering of forgiveness. Her beauty is her authenticity when masking and posing would be easier. Her beauty stirs the hearts and souls of those around her to long for more and to be more.
Dearest Daughters of Eve, this is the beauty that we long for, and are intended for.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
God's whisper to the Fear of Abandonment
Dearest Daughter of Eve,
I will never leave you nor turn my back on you. You are mine. The waters will not overtake you. You will not drown. I am your life boat keeping you a float. The flames will not burn you. I am your shelter and protector. You are my treasure. I have pursued and ransomed you. I am your knight and your warrior.
Wherever you go, I am with you. I see you, because I am El Roi, the God who sees. I do not live in a distant land far from you. I am always available to you. I am before you (leading), behind you (protecting), and within. I am with you. Be with me.
I am forming you new. You are like my hand crafted jar of clay, my fingerprints are pressed upon you, and I fill you. You are a poem, a work of art, and I the Master Artist. The strokes of my brush bring brillint colors and light to the canvas of your life. Such beauty. Because of my love and delight, I initiated this work of redemption long, long ago. I carefully craft the thread of redemption all throughout your life. I am devoted to this work in you and through you. I take the debts and transform into assets. What you see as ash and dust, I use to create beauty. The desert places, I will turn to lush fields of flowers and life. Nothing is too much for me. You are not too much, nor too little.
When I created the world ... you were on my mind. I had thoughts about you. I had and have a plan for you. A perfect plan of lasting beauty and life. I intricately knit you together. You are wonderfully formed according to the purposes and dreams that I have for you! Your deepest longings, they call for me. I wrote them upon your heart.
My love for you is unshakeable and firm. Nothing can get in the way of my love for you. Nothing can separate my love from you. There is no wall, no veil, no choice, no wound, no habit ... nothing. Your name is written upon the palms of my hands. Like a mother with her nursing baby, even my body remembers you, your needs, your hunger. I dream for you. I delight in you. I sing over you. Are you listening?
When you stray I pursue you. When you turn from me, I pursue you. I wait for you to call my name and turn to me. I long to be compassionate to you. When you are desperate and want to return, I am ready to run to you.
Daughter of Eve, you are beautiful. You are a fragrant aroma of life. You are light. You are accepted. You are my Beloved. I love you.
Love, God your Father.
I will never leave you nor turn my back on you. You are mine. The waters will not overtake you. You will not drown. I am your life boat keeping you a float. The flames will not burn you. I am your shelter and protector. You are my treasure. I have pursued and ransomed you. I am your knight and your warrior.
Wherever you go, I am with you. I see you, because I am El Roi, the God who sees. I do not live in a distant land far from you. I am always available to you. I am before you (leading), behind you (protecting), and within. I am with you. Be with me.
I am forming you new. You are like my hand crafted jar of clay, my fingerprints are pressed upon you, and I fill you. You are a poem, a work of art, and I the Master Artist. The strokes of my brush bring brillint colors and light to the canvas of your life. Such beauty. Because of my love and delight, I initiated this work of redemption long, long ago. I carefully craft the thread of redemption all throughout your life. I am devoted to this work in you and through you. I take the debts and transform into assets. What you see as ash and dust, I use to create beauty. The desert places, I will turn to lush fields of flowers and life. Nothing is too much for me. You are not too much, nor too little.
When I created the world ... you were on my mind. I had thoughts about you. I had and have a plan for you. A perfect plan of lasting beauty and life. I intricately knit you together. You are wonderfully formed according to the purposes and dreams that I have for you! Your deepest longings, they call for me. I wrote them upon your heart.
My love for you is unshakeable and firm. Nothing can get in the way of my love for you. Nothing can separate my love from you. There is no wall, no veil, no choice, no wound, no habit ... nothing. Your name is written upon the palms of my hands. Like a mother with her nursing baby, even my body remembers you, your needs, your hunger. I dream for you. I delight in you. I sing over you. Are you listening?
When you stray I pursue you. When you turn from me, I pursue you. I wait for you to call my name and turn to me. I long to be compassionate to you. When you are desperate and want to return, I am ready to run to you.
Daughter of Eve, you are beautiful. You are a fragrant aroma of life. You are light. You are accepted. You are my Beloved. I love you.
Love, God your Father.
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