Jesus, A Powerful Man Worth Trusting

Matthew 3:

Humility-  Jesus allows and asks John the Baptist to Baptize him. How intimidating, and John knows it. He is invited to baptized the God-Man, Jesus. Baptism is an act that signifies one's choice of repentance, belief and submission to God. Jesus had nothing to repent of! Yet Jesus does this to “fulfill all righteousness.” John has been “calling out in the wilderness,” preparing the way. He has spoken of Jesus as “the one whose sandals I am not fit to carry … one more powerful than I” (Matt 3:11). Jesus has a power that exceeds any power of man, inf act any power of man is rooted in the power of Jesus, yet time and time again Jesus chooses not to lord his power and strength over others for self serving or self promoting purposes. Jesus does not usurp his power to prove himself. He does not need his power to be displayed in order to somehow feel good about himself or secure. Instead of displaying his power like some sort of peacock, He positions himself under the leadership and guidance of others, and at times those closest to him question if he is the Messiah at all. His brothers tell him to step it up and his closest friends expect him to start a revolution, but instead Jesus takes all of our preconceived ideas about power and strength and turns them on their head!

Jesus never uses his authority (which he has all authority and all power) in an abusive manner. He does not shame others with his all powerful words. He does not force others to follow him, but he invites them/us. Jesus does not manipulate or control. He does not prey upon the weak and vulnerable, but instead he boasts about them and makes a place for them. He even positions himself in a place to receive from them, deeming a dignity upon them (Jn 4)!

Jesus’ use of power is not sporadic and emotionally compulsive or impulsive. He does not “stone wall,” rage, stuff, or pop with his power. His power is singularly focused and untainted from sin. His withdrawing of his power and display of power is with intentionality and strategy. He aligns his power to the Father’s will and plan, and never veers from this. His power serves the purposes of the Father. We see this throughout Jesus’ life. Jesus’ primary purpose was to live a pure and holy earthly life (which gives us an example to follow) to come to the cross, displaying the extravagant love of the Father, and providing the means by which we might be ransomed from our slavery and united to God forever. Jesus' power brought hope to the world! When Jesus used his power to heal, multiply fish, penetrate a woman’s defenses, raise a man from the dead, etc. Jesus was using his power to boast of God, meet a heart need, and invite others (and us through the reading of the Bible) to faith and relationship with Him.

Afraid to get close to a man with great power? Afraid of power? You know what it is like for power to be corrupt and abusive? Perhaps, connecting to Jesus, a man, God-man, feels vulnerable, even scary. Perhaps allowing Jesus to “touch” your heart does not sound wonderful at all! Don’t worry you are not alone, and Jesus is patient with you, however don’t allow the hurts of your past to steal from the love that he has for you (they have stolen enough already, haven’t they?). One small step … look, share with one trusted Christ follower: your fears, hesitations, doubts, uncertainties, and allow them to share just a taste of who Jesus is with you. You will be amazed, there is no man like Him!

Never "Too Much"

Are you feeling like you are "too much" or you have gone too far in your sin to be redeemed, changed, healed, made whole, and used to bring life and good? Listen, you aren't the only one!

Rahab was truly an unlikely candidate to be bragged about. She was a prostitute. She was a prostitute whose unexplainable faith and actions were displayed through her risk to hide the spies, and go against the grain of normal human instinct of self-protection and hiding; and to go against the grain of her culture, to lash out when threatened. What gave her the strength and insight? Did she gain this somehow through her loss, desperation, and life of prostitution? I can only surmise, that a God so extravagant with grace, extended to her small seeds of grace, awakening her of hope and inviting her into opportunity for life. And she seized them!

How did she become a prostitute? Was she barren? Orphaned? We don’t know her history, but what we do know is that despite of where she was, what sin she was caught up in, she risked. She probably had no idea how her actions (rooted in a faith that she did not fully realize ... if any of us ever really do?) would change her life and change the direction of her legacy!!! (Becoming Boaz’s grandma, and King David’s great-grandma!, who made the way for Jesus, the Savior!) Night after night of feeling shame, emptiness, discarded, and used up, do you think she had hope and dreams for herself? God did!

This woman would be considered a stain to one’s lineage by some, but God names her in Jesus’ lineage (Matthew 1), which is completely counter-culture at that time! She is valued. Her place in the story is emphasized, not dismissed! No matter where you have been, and no matter where you are, you are not too much for Jesus. You, your place, your role, all that you are, He values. Are you willing to risk and awaken to His grace and love for you? (How? Go against the grain ... what you normally might do, rely on yourself, try something new!) I wonder what dreams and plans He has for you? Your intended legacy and impact might surprise you!

Pressing hard After HIS Heart: Dissolving Shame

Pressing hard After HIS Heart: Dissolving Shame: "Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth (Jesus) in the inner parts of you ...

Dissolving Shame

"Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth (Jesus) in the inner parts of you teach me wisdom in the inmost place" (Psalm 51:5-6)

I have often assumed that the origin of my sense of shame was birthed out of personal experiences of abandonment, rejection, abuse, isolation, loss, etc. The mantras of shame ("I am worthless, I am bad, I am damaged, etc.") run like a subtitle throughout these stories. However, the meanings in these mantras of shame merely reinforced the already existing sense of shame within me. Shame has roots that run deeper, beyond my own story, and your own story. Their roots connect us to the stories of our parents, our grand-parents, all of humanity, and ultimately to our distant family of Eden. The place where shame began. The place where shame became a part of our DNA.

From the moment that I took my very first breath. Yes, shame shared my birthday. On that day I breathed physical life. On that day spiritual death began to spread its decay in me, through me, around me, and with it came the beginnings of shame. A sense of brokenness and the drive to cover, hide, and pretend was already within me and has grown with every sin and act of brokenness that I have done, seen, and experienced. With each day shame battles with the glory of the image of God reflected in each of us, attempting to further distance us from who we were intended to be and whose we were intended to be. 

Although shame is ancient, God's grace cunningly took its place of supremacy, first. God's grace moved like a pen intricately hand writing eternity's story, the story of deep personal and secure relationship with Him upon the heart of every woman and man. This story moves us to look past shame, even for a moment, to get a glimpse of an image of His glory in us-- we long to be good and to have something good to share and offer to others. Shame quickly pipes up with its persuasive mantras. Yet, this story moves us to admit, perhaps secretively and only for a moment, our soul longings and deepest desires, to be changed and weighted by a glory. It is a discontent of sorts, desiring for what we were intended for.

Shame's enemy #1:  Jesus. All that He was and is are offered to be ours. All that is credited to Him is extended to us. His holiness is a covering extended to us as a blanket to cover and change our hearts, minds, and souls. All that fueled our shame, He waits for us to give to Him. He doesn't wince or turn in disgust. He doesn't wag His finger, shake His head, or cut us off with "No, you are too much." He embraces us and whispers, "My power is made perfect in your weakness ...", "I came for the sick," "I make you new."

 Shame's enemy #2: The Holy Spirit. The Spirit intimately takes residence in us, as if to say, "I want to live here ... I choose to reside here... will you invite me?" He relentlessly, yet tenderly chisels, molds, and forms us, changing us, comforting us, leading us, whispering to us, praying for us. He befriends us and is with us, not tomorrow in heaven, but in this very moment. And as He is "with us" we slowly become aware of His extravagant love and we slowly receive His extravagant love, and we slowly believe His love over our shame.

Shame's enemy #3: The Bible. The Bible, God's very breath filled words, has a potency that intimidates the words of shame. The words in the Bible remind us what is real, who we are and who God is ... no matter what we may feel. The Bible reminds us that our story is not an empty isolated and random event, but is intricately timed and purposed. The Bible reminds us, our story is not our's alone. The Bible reminds us that through our stories runs His story which trumps any subtitle of shame! The Bible's stories remind us of our deepest longings, and of God's tenacious grace that reaches to and beyond them. 

Shame's enemy #4: The Church Community. The Community has the privilege and responsibility to be conduits of grace for one another. The Community provides brothers and sisters to replay and redo relationships that once brought wounds with mantras of shame, to be relationships that bring the healing hope of redemption. The Community has the privilege to be a safe place where stories of shame (and celebration) are told and met with the healing balm and comfort of grace, hope and love. The Community has the privilege and responsibility to bring truth to the debilitating lies of shame that litter our stories. The Community has the ability to guard one another from the damage of isolation (which only fuels the power of shame) and deem a value on one another that builds a deep love and interdependence. The Community has the ability to dissolve shame for one another little by little, while displaying the power of God at work to a desperate, broken, sin-stained, shame debilitating world.

This is the greater glory that surpasses the image of God within each of us individually, and this is the beginning of dissolution of shame within me, and you. What hope we have. Remind me as I remind you. Let's encourage one another. Let's risk it together.

Missing the Mark ... Breaking the Boxes

Have you ever withheld your thoughts, your honest emotions, your true state of being? Have you ever withdrawn and rationalized yourself out of offering or serving? Did you think, "What if people think ... (fill in the blank)" or "No, it won't come out right" or "What if my motives are off?" "It's too much" or "It isn't enough." So you resign yourself to silence and inactivity. You ambivalently agree to not make an impression, a God impression; to not bring light to darkness; to not bring life to death...just in case it isn't quite up to parr.

Honestly, I am embaressed at how many times I have shy-ed away for these very reasons. My top reason is connected to my insecurity. I suppose my insecurity is my excuse. I think, "Surely my thoughts will come out all jumbled, incomprehensible, and full of emotion. I will look like a fool. I might even cry. My thoughts will never meet the standards..." or "No, this is not a safe place. What I share will not be accepted...I might be criticized or rejected." Sadly to say, I have submitted to my excuses and prized safety and image preservation over and over again.

Jesus reminds me that following the standards of others is not the goal, and that He indeed does take our small loaves and multiply them in their potency. Jesus faced the dilemma of not following the rules and not meeting the standard (man's standard). In fact, Jesus intentionally arroused the dilema. Throughout his life and loving of others, Jesus was criticized and rejected. In Mark 3, Jesus is described as healing a man on the Sabbath. This was a big "no, no" in the eyes of the Pharisees...the "Super Jews" who were known for keeping score cards and tallies of all rights and wrongs of others. Jesus did not shy away or resist the opportunity to love no matter what adversity.  Okay, so it is easy to say..."yeah but that's Jesus and He always gave perfectly"...Okay, what about the little boy with fish and loaves? A little bit of nothing to offer, for the hunger of thousands of people. He could have said "this will never do...this will never be enough" but instead he offered the little he had...the meager little bit, and Jesus multiplied. Maybe this is what it is to be like a little child, offering even if it seems ridiculous!

What about Paul...talk about one with a messy past!!! Here's the guy who wrote most of the New Testament..."the chief of sinners!" a murderer of Christians...the guy who held the coats of the murderers of Stephen, a devoted follower and martyr for Christ!! Following his conversion, Paul could have held onto and hid in shame. He could have said: "well, I can't really offer much. Who am I? I have way too messy of a past, and it is constantly dripping into my present..." Paul's past did drip into his present...it made him who he was...a man of weakness, one who knew God's grace to be enough! Should we go on? What about Rahab...gosh, a prostitute... a prostitute who models Jesus' act of salvation (and she wasn't a "recovered" prostitute either!) This is the woman mentioned in the geneology of Jesus. A distant relative to Christ...a prostitute, the mother of Boaz (who models Jesus as redeemer!) who marries Ruth (who models Jesus' devotion and tender care), the foreign widow with nothing!! Seems to me, God is into people who offer messily, undone, and sometimes meager crumbs! Seems to me He shows Himself off through such people!
Hmmm...why do you resist loving? Why do you hold back? Why do you withdraw? Why have you resigned yourself to the sideline? Why are you convinced lukewarm tastes good? Why is it that you believe some have the ability to offer and give for God's glory...but not you?? Don't you know the very same Holy Spirit lives in you? How long will you withhold your story (the brokenness, the redemption)? How long will you not comment, not touch the lives of others, not know the hearts of others, and not be known? How long will you resist from blooming into the woman you were created to be? It is what your heart desires, yet you turn away.

Sisters, everyone of you has a place, and everyone of you has much to offer. There is more to your life than those fears. We all know those fears. We all know those insecurities. Even the prettiest and most put together of us. We are made of the same stuff, and the same stuff corses through our veins! Maybe you feel stuck, and shame seems to be all that you know. Maybe the fear and insecurity seem to sewn so deep into the fabric of who you are that it seems hopeless. Maybe you don't care anymore. What is it? Don't settle, don't wait. Don't wait until "you're ready"...you know how that goes...you will never be ready, but you can be faithful! Listen to your Father...He knows your heart. He knows your fears. He knows what you were made for, and He will lead you in this way. He will make it happen.

Jesus loved others radically. He gave to others knowing it did not fit into the standards and boxes of the Pharisees. He gave and loved in ways that busted the walls of their boxes. Praying that we may love and offer ourselves, our stories, and Christ in us and through us to others in radical ways.Messy and undone! Perhaps emotional or odd! Who knows how our Lord will multiply it!

Love you!
Your sister, with you, one who was made to be a radical lover of Christ and others, and one who is being formed, so that it is so!
april 

The Way of Love

"I don't like hazelnut creamer."

My husband looked flabbergasted. He was speechless. After a long pause he said, "What? How could you not like hazelnut creamer after I have been making your coffee with it for the last 8 years? Why didn't you say anything?"

You can only imagine John's confusion. Why would I hold out on such a thing?? The truth be told I was clueless as to what I liked and what I disliked. I didn't really pay much attention to it, and when I did I felt guilty or convinced myself that it didn't matter, or shouldn't matter.

When I was a little girl I played with a sweet girl, Jennifer who lived up the hill from our small trailer. One night I was visiting her family for dinner. Her father asked me what I would like, and if I would want more. My reply, "I don't care. It doesn't matter."  

I hate to admit the insatiable insecurity I have wrestled with for most of my life. I would love to say that my knees never locked in front of a crowd, my voice never quivered, mole hills didn't grow into mountains, and my mind was always free of fear ... but this would be a lie. For most of my life I created a rating system for myself, and I strove for standards that were ridiculous. For most of my life I believed myself a failure even before I tried, and I would give up on tasks that seemed fated to end in failure. For most of my life I have been tempted to deny my flaws, hide them, or hide myself because of them. You see, although I trusted and believed in Jesus as my Savior as a little 6 year old girl, His acceptance and love for me seemed to be a fantasy. I believed others to be "Princesses and daughter's of the King." I longed for this to be true for me, but I believed myself to be a step-daughter, tolerated because that's what God does. He had to love me.

The truth is God does not promise that He will merely tolerate you or me. There aren't first rate Christ-followers somehow getting His attention and favor, and then ... the rest of us. It is so easy to form these kind of deep core beliefs out of our personal experiences and interactions with others. Abandonment, abuse, rejection, betrayal, marginalization, deception, etc. ... these experiences and others often seem to be what proves our beliefs that either God does not love us as He says, or that there must be something incredibly wrong with us to keep His love away.

These beliefs form deep insecurity, shame, loneliness. They fuel our addictions and compulsions to hide, strive, numb, please, pretend, preform. This is not the way of freedom. This is not the way of life or love. 

So how do we live, and live abundantly in a broken world, and with the wounds of life? The scariest first step is we allow our wounds to breathe. Even the wounds we have inflicted upon ourselves and others. We bring them to the light cautiously and carefully to someone safe, and to Jesus. We allow our stories to be heard (thus those of us who know grace must be safe and allow the stories to be told). If needed, we allow the poison to be drained as the emotions surge as if it just happened.  We allow others to see us for who we really are, and we allow them to treat us differently, not as we have treated ourselves, neglecting and isolating, but as Jesus treats us, with dignity, grace, and love. 

Like a balm, the Spirit pours a new strength into us. It doesn't erase our wounds and all of their effects but His strength works through our wounds and weaknesses. Slowly we learn what our hearts need, and we do for ourselves what no one can do for us. No one can renew our minds for us. No one can take our thoughts captive and replace them with truth for us. No one can turn us away from our sins of choice. No one can "put off, put on" for us. And so we begin to choose, versus react. We stumble. We trip. We may take two steps forward, one step back, but He doesn't leave and He doesn't give up. He continues to work in us and through us, giving us what we need to live as He intended, the way of life and love.

In our new strength, in which our weaknesses are now His assets, we learn to gaze into the mirror of scripture that reveals to us the image we were created in. We choose to sit in the presence of the One who redeems this image we bear that has been marred, warped, and tainted by sin. We learn the difference between the voices of our past, our condemning voice, and His whisper. We pause and listen. We begin to believe what He says over the old way. We choose to risk, and we open up to spiritual friends who reinforce the truth of who we are ... Worthy, and as we become more and more free from our self-preoccupation we begin to do the same for them. We begin to believe the truth and we begin to actively participate in the way of love.

Pressing hard After HIS Heart: Noticed"Please make me invisible. Please let them ...

Pressing hard After HIS Heart: Noticed"Please make me invisible. Please let them ...: Noticed "Please make me invisible. Please let them see me different from who I am." As a little girl this was a daily reque...