Pressing hard After HIS Heart: June 2013

"Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth (Jesus) in the inner parts of you teach me wisdom in the inmost place" (Psalm 51:5-6)

I have often assumed that the origin of my sense of shame was birthed out of personal experiences of abandonment, rejection, abuse, isolation, loss, etc. The mantras of shame ("I am worthless, I am bad, I am damaged, etc.") run like a subtitle throughout these stories. However, the meanings in these mantras of shame merely reinforced the already existing sense of shame within me. Shame has roots that run deeper, beyond my own story, and your own story. Their roots connect us to the stories of our parents, our grand-parents, all of humanity, and ultimately to our distant family of Eden. The place where shame began. The place where shame became a part of our DNA.

From the moment that I took my very first breath. Yes, shame shared my birthday. On that day I breathed physical life. On that day spiritual death began to spread its decay in me, through me, around me, and with it came the beginnings of shame. A sense of brokenness and the drive to cover, hide, and pretend was already within me and has grown with every sin and act of brokenness that I have done, seen, and experienced. With each day shame battles with the glory of the image of God reflected in each of us, attempting to further distance us from who we were intended to be and whose we were intended to be.

Although shame is ancient, God's grace cunningly took its place of supremacy, first. God's grace moved like a pen intricately hand writing eternity's story, the story of deep personal and secure relationship with Him upon the heart of every woman and man. This story moves us to look past shame, even for a moment, to get a glimpse of an image of His glory in us-- we long to be good and to have something good to share and offer to others. Shame quickly pipes up with its persuasive mantras. Yet, this story moves us to admit, perhaps secretively and only for a moment, our soul longings and deepest desires, to be changed and weighted by a glory. It is a discontent of sorts, desiring for what we were intended for.

Shame's enemy #1: Jesus. All that He was and is are offered to be ours. All that is credited to Him is extended to us. His holiness is a covering extended to us as a blanket to cover and change our hearts, minds, and souls. All that fueled our shame, He waits for us to give to Him. He doesn't wince or turn in disgust. He doesn't wag His finger, shake His head, or cut us off with "No, you are too much." He embraces us and whispers, "My power is made perfect in your weakness ...", "I came for the sick," "I make you new."

Shame's enemy #2: The Holy Spirit. The Spirit intimately takes residence in us, as if to say, "I want to live here ... I choose to reside here... will you invite me?" He relentlessly, yet tenderly chisels, molds, and forms us, changing us, comforting us, leading us, whispering to us, praying for us. He befriends us and is with us, not tomorrow in heaven, but in this very moment. And as He is "with us" we slowly become aware of His extravagant love and we slowly receive His extravagant love, and we slowly believe His love over our shame.

Shame's enemy #3: The Bible. The Bible, God's very breath filled words, has a potency that intimidates the words of shame. The words in the Bible remind us what is real, who we are and who God is ... no matter what we may feel. The Bible reminds us that our story is not an empty isolated and random event, but is intricately timed and purposed. The Bible reminds us, our story is not our's alone. The Bible reminds us that through our stories runs His story which trumps any subtitle of shame! The Bible's stories remind us of our deepest longings, and of God's tenacious grace that reaches to and beyond them.

Shame's enemy #4: The Church Community. The Community has the privilege and responsibility to be conduits of grace for one another. The Community provides brothers and sisters to replay and redo relationships that once brought wounds with mantras of shame, to be relationships that bring the healing hope of redemption. The Community has the privilege to be a safe place where stories of shame (and celebration) are told and met with the healing balm and comfort of grace, hope and love. The Community has the privilege and responsibility to bring truth to the debilitating lies of shame that litter our stories. The Community has the ability to guard one another from the damage of isolation (which only fuels the power of shame) and deem a value on one another that builds a deep love and interdependence. The Community has the ability to dissolve shame for one another little by little, while displaying the power of God at work to a desperate, broken, sin-stained, shame debilitating world.

This is the greater glory that surpasses the image of God within each of us individually, and this is the beginning of dissolution of shame within me, and you. What hope we have. Remind me as I remind you. Let's encourage one another. Let's risk it together.